Silent Whisper (3)

It’s been months yet 

I feel that nothing changes. 

Something inside me still struggling 

with something 

that I’m afraid isn’t there.

I start thinking that I 

become smaller that I used to be. 

This heart is withering. 

I unconsciously 

started to avoid people again; 

afraid that world will hurt me again; 

afraid that I have to endure pains again.

This insecurity is killing me every day. 

But I don’t know why I should feel like this. 

I love my family, my friends.

It feels like my heart 

is about to bursting. 

There are too much unknown emotions 

that fill my chest. 

It hurts.

Why do I feel like people starts 

walk away from me?

When did I become this 

pathetic?

The Weight of Silence

I'm hurting,

even in my sleep I'm crying...

I'm hurting me!

Stabbed myself in the heart and bleeding badly,

over and over again

until it's drying

until it's dead...

What do you know about me?

You know nothing...

You don't know that every lie that I've said

is ripped me apart,

torn my skin inch by inch,

took my breath second by second...

You said you're hurting...

So will you try to be me?

Will you try to endure all the pains I feel?

Will you?

Will you able to keep those pains by yourself?

Of course

I'm laughing...

But do you know whom I laughing at?

MYSELF!!!

For being this cruel,

for being this weak,

for being

me...

Sorry (Dear Daddy) - by f(x)

Forgive me if I possibly hurt your feelings today. 

My immature self just said immature things. 

If you possibly can’t understand my feelings, it’s fine. 

No need for excuses, 

It’s all my fault.

Even if you don’t say everyone knows, 

both your eyes are immersed with tears. 

Sorry, so sorry. This is my heart. 

You know the day I’ve opened up my heart, 

I’ll do better. 

Sorry. (Sorry) I’m sorry. (Sorry) I can’t say anything other than this.

You can still hate me for your sorrowful feelings. 

There’s no need for any expressions. 

To me you’ll be here forever.

Even if you don’t say everyone knows, 

both your eyes are immersed with tears. 

Sorry, so sorry. This is my heart. 

You know the day I’ve opened up my heart, 

I’ll do better. 

Sorry. (Sorry) I’m sorry. (Sorry) I can’t say anything other than this. 

I can’t do anything other than this. 

I can’t imagine a world without you.
Although I’m lacking and deficient, 

I love you. 

Even if you don’t say everyone knows, 

both your eyes are immersed with tears. 

Sorry, so sorry. This is my heart. 

You know the day I’ve opened up my heart, 

I’ll do better. 

Sorry. (Sorry) I’m sorry. (Sorry) I can’t say anything other than this, yeah. 

Sorry, sorry. So hard to say I’m sorry. 

Sorry, I’m sorry. I can’t say anything other than this.

Source: [Lyric] F(x) – Sorry (Hangul+Rom+English Translation) | ~Come to My New World :: Kyu-Teuk Shipper~

Midnight Reflection

The dream is fleeting and when it sees the pain for everything,
in whom you can believe, is only yourself

the GazettE - Remember the Urge

BELIEVE

I need determination

A big one

cause I start to doubt myself for hundred times

cause my faith even wavering from desperation

I think I despise myself too much

so I try to run

become someone who isn't me

say words that I don't even mean to

do something that I can't take the responsibility of

Can I still believe in myself?

Missing You

This heart is missing you

Even until now

I still can’t catch the time

to see your smile,

to feel your touch,

to hear your voice,

to breathe your scent

My dream becomes unreachable

My belief crushed

Who am I?

Who am I to become yours?

Who am I to even know you?

Questions running in and out

Regrets approach me softly

Why I should love you?

Why it should be you?

Little Madness

I wish you'll somehow answer me, that it's all a horrible dream
To what extent should I shout, writhe and suffer till it's alright?
Please, I wish you'll tell me it's all a horrible dream
With voice that seemed broken, I cried out over and over again

the GazettE - 体温 -body temprature-

Have you ever live in a nightmare?

Having disasters creeping at your back

slowly torn your skin apart

Taking all loneliness and pain as your drugs

softly engulfed you into those endless darkness

Lies blooming after your lips

Insecurities by just standing upon your own shoes

Two-faced heart looking down on everything

Rotten smiles floating beyond the grayish sky

Pathetic little world of yours!!!

Welcome July!!!

Hello everybody!!! お久しぶりですね ^^ 

Oh my, it’s July already. Time is moving too fast isn’t it? 

You know, I have many things I want this month, and one of them is unbelievably expensive for my financial condition (come on! I’m still a student, it’s a holiday and to have part time job here is not easy)

First of all, 

the thing that I want most is the Gazette’s DIVISION Limited Edition! ¥6349 it is!!! *punch myself in the face for wanting this difficult to afford thing*

This will be my first DVD of them

The second thing that I want is shoes! 

Oh my God I really need them since my old shoes collections are tore apart and all I have is a sneaker, a flat, and a wedge. I prefer to buy two pair of flat now but I also want a spare sneaker (screw wedges and heels! I have to climb those stairs in campus)

 

I also want a bag, a big and cute one ^^ 

Okay it doesn’t have to be cute, but big is really important because I always need my Com*aq around (otaku, no? nerd? whatever)

Okay, I think those things that I WANT aren’t really important and I think I won’t need it for couples of week forward. But a thing that I really NEED is my glasses. I have one, but I think it’s worn out and my eyes seem get worst (or maybe better, I don’t know) so I better buy a new one (of course with mom’s permission)

Okay, that’s it. I don’t know what I should write so I’ll stop here ^^ Thank you for reading my non-sense post though!!!